If They Not Helping You Grow, They Gotta Go

I don’t know how many times I’ve looked back and reflected on a relationship and thought, “ugh wtf was I thinking?” Why did I allow myself to put up with all the bs I endured? We all have been in situations where we put up with things we did not deserve for love. At that time we thought we would never get over that person, but look at us now, glowing and growing.

Point is, now we know what we deserve and what we won’t tolerate. If the person you’re with is not helping you elevate and putting you in positions to win, then we need to reevaluate the entire relationship. Now I’m not saying your partner has to put you in a Ferrari and a new condo; I’m speaking on helping you become a better you. 

When I say, “become a better you” I mean…

Someone who cares about your mental health.

This is a person who knows what triggers you and doesn’t use them against you. Someone who you can talk to about almost anything, judgement free. Someone who will be by your side on your good days and bad. Mental health is something that should not be taken lightly, and if you have found someone who understands how serious it is, you’ve found yourself a great person. 

Someone who wants to not only see you grow, but help you as well.

Having a partner who acknowledges your dreams and tries to put you in a position to live out those dreams is a top tier quality. It can be as simple as sending you job applications for the career field you want to pursue. Maybe you want to hit a fitness goal, so this person send you YouTube videos on working out and diet routines. They might even wake up extra early to ensure you make your gym routine before you have to clock in at work. If they know you are looking into starting a new business, this means they are flooding your inbox with ideas on how to get started, get funding, or whatever you need to make it happen.

If you need some solid advice, you know you can count on them to give you their honest opinion.

This means no sugar coating, judging, or putting you down about what you are seeking advice for. It's not conducive to your growth to be around someone who is afraid to tell you like it is to protect your feelings. You also don't feel apprehensive about talking to them about anything because you know that they would never look at you differently. You and your secrets and feelings are safe with them.

They care about conflict resolution.

We know every relationship is not perfect, and that it is inevitable to not have any disagreements, whether big or small. Having said, poor communication is one of the biggest issues in relationships. If your person is able to communicate effectively without making your concerns sound small or completely dismissing your feelings, then that person is definitely a keeper. If you are someone who may not be used to that level of communication, them being someone who can acknowledge and try to work through that barrier says a lot about them not only as a partner, but as a person as well.

They are your number one fan.

Having a partner who is your biggest supporter means everything. If you are an artist of any kind, this means that they are constantly sharing your work with others or on social media. If you are a business owner, this means they are one of the first to purchase from your company. If you play a sport, they try to never miss a game. This level of support translates to them always showing up for you in the future.